Ways to Teach Your Child How to Build Emotional Control

Parents can help children build emotional control by creating a safe environment for them to express themselves and experimenting with forms of expression.

When your child experiences disappointment, frustration, or any other challenging emotion, it's natural to want to come to their aid. But as they mature and grow into an adult, it's important that your child learns how to handle these situations on their own. This will help them in the future when they need to cope with difficult circumstances on their own. Parents can help children build emotional control by creating a safe environment for them to express themselves and experimenting with different ways of handling the challenging situations they encounter. Here are ten ways you can teach your child how to build emotional control:

Create an environment for your child to express themselves.

Children need to have the opportunity to safely explore their feelings and learn how to express themselves in a healthy way. A great way to start is by creating an environment in your home that encourages your child to express themselves. This might look like having a designated place (like a pillow fort) where your child can go when they need to be alone and not be interrupted. If your child is old enough to have a journal, journaling can be an effective way for your child to process their emotions and begin to understand what these emotions feel like. If your child is too young to write, encourage them to draw their feelings and see what comes out. It might seem silly at first, but this is a great way for a child to safely explore their feelings and receive immediate feedback from you.

Help them identify their emotions.

As your child learns to identify their emotions, they'll also learn how to respond appropriately to challenging situations. One easy way to help your child identify their emotions is to use emotion icons. Create a poster with pictures of a variety of different emotions and let your child pick what they feel in each given situation. If your child is a bit older, you can use the Emotions Kids Feel board game to help them identify their emotions. You can also use emotion flashcards to help your child identify their emotions. Another way to help your child identify their emotions is to use an emotion wheel. An emotion wheel is a visual chart that features pictures representing different emotions, both positive and negative: interest, surprise, happiness, anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, shame, excitement, anticipation, pleasure, hope, fear, disgust, anticipation, boredom, and relief.

Help them find productive outlets for their energy

Kids have a lot of energy, and it's important for them to have a healthy way to express it. There are many ways for your child to release their energy, such as playing sports or engaging in another physical activity. Or, your child can express their energy in other ways, like playing an instrument or writing. Having a variety of ways for your child to express their energy will help them build their skills and develop a wide range of interests. If your child is younger, you'll want to make sure they have a safe way to release their energy. This can be as simple as letting them run around outside or letting them move while they're in a walker. If your child is a bit older, you can also encourage them to write their feelings as an outlet. There are many different ways to do this, like writing in a journal, creating a poem, or writing letters to someone they care about.

Set boundaries and enforce consequences

As your child grows, they will inevitably come up against situations where they don't get what they want. Setting boundaries with your child and then enforcing consequences when they don't follow through will help them develop the ability to cope with disappointment and find ways to move on from challenging situations. Boundaries and consequences don't have to be an all-or-nothing approach. You can set boundaries and consequences for things on a case-by-case basis. If your child is younger, you can have consequences that are age-appropriate for them, like taking away a privilege, sitting in time-out, or having them pick up toys. If your child is a bit older and they are in school, you can talk with their teacher about setting boundaries and consequences and how to enforce these.

Discuss strategies for how to handle difficult situations

Kids will inevitably encounter challenging situations and new milestones that they don't know how to handle. It's helpful to discuss strategies for handling different situations with your child, so they have a better idea of how to react. You can discuss common situations your child might face, like peer pressure, how to handle bullying, dealing with a friend moving away and more. You can also talk with your child about events that are coming up, like the death of a grandparent or having to visit the doctor. This will help your child navigate these situations with a better understanding of how to cope with them. You can also have discussions about events that have already happened in your child's life. This will help them reflect on these challenging situations and begin to process what happened so they can better move forward in the future.

Teach them how to breathe.

When your child is dealing with a challenging situation, they might not know how to calm themselves down. One way to help your child calm down is to teach them how to breathe when they're upset. You can teach your child the 4-7-8 breathing technique to help calm them down when they're feeling stressed or anxious. You can also have your child create a calming space for themselves. This could be a special place they go to when they're feeling overwhelmed, like a certain part of their room, a hammock outside, or a special chair. This will help them feel more comfortable and relaxed when they need to use it.

Help them build their vocabulary for describing emotions.

As your child grows, they can expand their vocabulary of emotions. This will help them better understand their feelings and communicate them to others. Here are some emotions you can help your child learn: 

• Admiration: This is when you respect or admire someone. 
• Disappointment: This is when you are hoping for something, and it doesn't happen. 
• Fear: This is an emotion that tells you that something might be dangerous. 
• Frustration: This is when something is hard to do, or you can't do it. 
• Joy: This is when you feel happy. 
• Sadness: This is when you feel bad or disappointed. 
• Shame: This is when you feel bad because you did something wrong. 
• Surprise: This is when something happens that you don't expect.

Give them opportunities to practice what they've learned.

As your child grows and develops better emotional control, they'll encounter situations that will challenge them. Give them opportunities to practice what they've learned when they face these situations. If your child is facing a particularly challenging situation, you can help them through, like the death of a loved one, or if they're struggling to learn how to handle a situation, you can offer to help them brainstorm ways to cope with the situation. You can help them brainstorm a variety of ways to handle the situation and then help them pick the option that feels most comfortable for them. You can also offer to help your child practice ways to identify their emotions when they need to or if they feel they're struggling with their emotions.

Conclusion

Building emotional control is an important skill that every child should learn while they're growing up. Parents can help their children develop emotional control by creating a safe environment where they can express themselves and experiment with different ways of responding to challenging situations. There are many ways to do this, like creating a safe space for your child to use, helping them identify their emotions, finding productive outlets for their energy, setting boundaries and enforcing consequences, discussing strategies for how to handle difficult situations, teaching them how to breathe, and building their vocabulary for describing emotions. Visit Kidsactivitypage.com to learn more about how to keep your kids mentally healthy and strong.